You're the Yarn Bomb

yarn blog post

Because you are so cool, because you brave the weather to come out to book signings and liquor infused craft nights, because you wouldn't let me leave the house with my slip showing, purse that didn't match my shoes or a good alibi- I've made you a gift, and one for you, and you and you.  Fans of the Criminal Crafts blog who stop by my booth (#34) at Portland's Mini Maker Faire on Sept. 15th and 16th at OMSI and say "You're the Yarn Bomb" get this super cute kit- a small ball of yarn (enough to learn how to finger knit), instructions on finger knitting and a brief history on the art of yarn bombing, an atomic fireball candy and a commemorative gift bag hand stamped by Parole Officer Honeyman and myself. I'll also be giving a few of these precious gifts away at my panel discussion and Iron Craft event at the Contemporary Arts Center  on Monday Sept. 10th . Yes, I'm off to Cincinnati, you heard that right, the city that gave us Bootsy Collins, Carmen Electra, Doris Day and the Isley Brothers is also home to one of the more visionary and inspiring contemporary arts museums in the country.  I'm doing a fab night of talking and judging craft smackdown with local artists Pam Kravetz and Chris Salley and like any good hosts, they've promised beer will be available.  I'm really hoping to sneak off and squeeze in some yarn bombing when I'm there, since I hear it's quite the scene in Cincinnati.  There's even a yarn bomb posse, the BombShells  and they even have their own manifesto, and there really isn't anything I like more than crafters with manifestos, except for maybe crafters with beer.

On the off chance that you happen to live somewhere other than the craft meccas of Portland and Cincinnati, I'm thinking you deserve a treat too.  So the 1st five readers who email me a good alibi along with their address also get a gift in the mail.  So hop too it, and I want good alibis, something creative, slightly funny and will stand up in court.

Yarn bomb supplies

So a bit more about these yarn bomb bags... they were generously donated by Stateline Bags and blanks in a number of sizes can be ordered from their website here.  They have a crafter's resource section on the website too which is pretty darn cool and it got me to thinking about some other projects I want to make later this fall.

For my bags I drew three designs on paper and made a rubbing transfer onto heavy linoleum stamp material.  I cut the shapes with carving tools but exacto knives work fine too.   From there it's as easy as stamping onto an ink pad and pressing onto the bag.  I did put a piece of cardboard in the bag so the image didn't seep all the way through.  I'm delighted with how the bags came out and am planning to screen print some others to using a darling print kit I got from Etsy seller SimpleKraft.

I've got a full stamp carving tutorial in the Criminal Crafts book and illustrations too, to make your own paper funeral.

Take it to the Bridge- And, Thanks!

bridge

The Criminal Crafts world tour is off to a ridiculously fabulous start and I'm super stoked to be doing the official launch signing at Bridge City Comics this Friday night at 6pm.  Since it's on the suitably unlucky Friday the 13th, I'll be doing a super special give away- If you come in with a written hard luck story, you'll be eligible for a prize, something awesome and devious from my Criminal Crafts shop!  Since a couple of my pals are real Sad Sacks the competition for this will be fierce but I'll probably do a drawing rather than go for saddest story since many of my friends are also big liars and will do anything to win a contest.

cookies-001

Along with the book signing- there will be snacks- I've busted out a couple batches of my G-men cookies from the book, who've all tragically run afoul of hard times themselves, we'll also be sampling the Upright Brewing Criminal Crafts Barley Bock which is so freakin delicious that I've decided to write another book so we can get more beer.

Best of all Bridge City is an all ages venue so the juvenile delinquents in your house can come too, if they've checked in with their parole officer 1st.  There's a great collection of comics for kids and I plan on picking up our back issues of Tiny Titans and the new Asterix too!

While I'm name dropping, wanted to send a special thanks to Karen at the Someday Lounge, she put together a fantastic catering spread for our cocktail party last Tuesday night, the stuffed mushrooms were especially divine, looking forward to more special events there!  And as hoped, Kick Ass Oregon history delivered, we got a fab review of some of Oregon's more notorious and ingenious criminal moments as well as sage advice- Tip: don't pick up hitchhikers on the road outside the women's prison, words to live by!

Monkey's Uncle

Don't know about the rest of you but I've got a wild weekend planned.  There are two days left to finish my diorama for the Kick Ass Oregon History Diorama contest , not even sure if it is fair for me to enter since I'm donating the prize, but I LOVE TO ENTER CRAFTY COMPETITIONS.  Also, I'm pretty sure my diorama is going to win because it is f-ing brilliant. For those of you who didn't grow up in Oregon, some quick back story- in 1970 an 8 ton sperm whale washed up  near Florence Oregon and died.  At the time the beaches were under the jurisdiction of the Oregon Highway Patrol who were responsible for cleaning up the mess.  Their obvious solution was to explode the whale with a half ton of TNT, as you might do with a wayward boulder that was blocking a country road.  Like other poorly thought through plans that involve well- intentioned men facing a freakishly large aberration of nature while in the possession of explosives- mistakes were made, big ones.  For my entry into the diorama competition I plan to capture that "Oh Shit" moment when workers, camera crews and innocent bystanders realize that this was a very bad idea.  The full story is a great read and maybe the funniest thing I've yet to see on Wikipedia especially since it digresses into other instances of whales exploding including the self combusting kinds.  KATU news covered the whole thing live and it really is worth five minutes of your day.

And while accurately depicting this with Star Wars action figures and Match Box cars should be the highlight of my weekend- I actually have bigger fish to fry... a few weeks back I sent in an application for a new reality TV competition show The Ultimate Craft Throwdown and OMG, OMG, OMG they like me!  They like me enough to see what else I can do, what I can do big, and get in a video by Monday.  With a little advance warning I could have recreated the whole whale exploding thing life size in felt, but I've got about 72 hours to come up with something interesting since most of my work is small and sinister.

sock monkey

Enter the 8' sock monkey,  that's the plan anyway.  I managed to score a couple dozen empty burlap coffee bags from Stumptown roasters and I'm stitching them together over a PVC frame my husband has built.

Some things I'm learning along the way.  Burlap doesn't take spray paint well but latex house paint does the trick.  The perfect tool for cutting PVC isn't a saw but a wire with plastic handles that looks just like a garrote from the old spy movies.  8' is big, really big all things considered and now that I've built the monkey I'm not sure if I can actually get him out of my house.

Other plans this weekend?  Well, I've got a comic book class to teach this afternoon and putting the finishing touches on a dog jacket made from crochet beer cans. Living the dream baby, living the dream.

Carlotta's Leap of Faith

amy sweater

the birds

A huge Criminal Crafts congratulations to Amy Marie Honeyman, this month's winner of the Hitchcock Sweater Re-Fashion Contest.  The theme of our July craft off was, "Vertigo" which Amy did a bang-up job of interpreting.  Not only did she manage to capture the great plummet from the tower scene, she also sewed on the flower petals which Carlotta dreamily tosses into the San Francisco Bay.  Kudos to you Amy!  Our lucky winner got a handsome vintage book and a special gift from the Criminal Crafts shop.  Second prize went to Elizabeth Cramer who got a set of steak knives.  Actually, it wasn't steak knives, but something else as equally endearing.  Everyone who entered did an awesome job and I truly appreciate your enthusiasm to create something deviant and functional.  It's time now to dust off your feathered boa and heat up the glue gun because our August sweater contest is going to.........The Birds!  Hop to it friends, and send me pics of work in progress, I'd love to share it with the world! You've got until August 31st to send me a photo of your masterpiece and link to blog if you'd like.  Winners will be announced shortly afterward.  Up for grabs, a vintage steamy pulp novel from my private collection of smut and a special treat from one of my online shops.

If you want to destroy my sweater

midge

My dear crafting and mystery friends, it seems unfair that I get to have all the fun making subversive goods.  I know I can't be the only one up late at night embellishing away the hours in my den of thieves.  I'd like to see what you are up to, in fact this is a personal challenge, time to get creative and bust out your inner craft vixen.

I'm hosting a contest, in fact a series of contests inspired by the mystery master himself, Alfred Hitchcock.  Each month I'll select one of his films and you've got 30 days to refashion an old sweater to match the theme.

Send me photos of the goods and I'll share your devious designs and links back to you.  Monthly winners will get a couple racy vintage pulp fiction novels and a special Criminal Crafts gift.

Why sweaters?  Die hard Hitchcock fans are familiar with the ubiquitous cardigan.  It seems all the gals had a snug cover-up plastered to her bullet bra.  I'm sure some poor film student somewhere has written her  master's thesis on the psychological meaning behind the sweaters the girls who wore them the hussies who shed them off, and seriously, they are almost in every film.

So, use this as your creative springboard, grab the glue gun, bedazzler, extra large pinking shears... and go big.  Our first film is Vertigo, I figured we'd start out with a toughie and work our way to the no brainers like Psycho and The Birds.  Vertigo really is a film about what you wear and how you wear it.  Poor Midge, pictured above is having a creative meltdown, is it because her favorite beau Scottie is hot for a dead girl or is it because she's stuck in a wardrobe which does little to reveal her assets?   Time to bring on the bling.

judyblog

If you need extra inspiration, check out some of the art Saul Bass designed for the film and other Hitchcock projects.  And if you really want to set the mood, check out the DVD again, pop some popcorn, grab a bottle of Two Buck Chuck and a bowl of cookie dough, perfect evening!

Since this is our very first contest I'm extending the deadline a bit, you've got until July 31st to send in photos.  Send a note too if you've got questions, I'd love to hear from you.